I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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