we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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