So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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