It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
