They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
