I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
