Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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