Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
