I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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