I look better un-naked...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
