Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I need to stop coming to work sober
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
