We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
