I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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