all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
