Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
