Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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