Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
