I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
