At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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