I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
