Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
