first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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