I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
