9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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