Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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