So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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