doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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