If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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