Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
