super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
