They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
