you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
