There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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