like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
