My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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