JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
