why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
