There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
