1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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