Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
