just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
