I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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