I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
