The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize