I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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