I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
