Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
