I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
