You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
