HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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