can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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