My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
