Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
